The Consolation
The consolation that one day
I will lay myself down
and die.
That's what happened
to my dad's friend Lester.
One day, in his ninetieth year,
he complained of a headache
and lay down for a nap.
That was the end for Lester.
He had a smooth, painless transition,
like pressing the off button.
No mess. It was clean.
And lucky.
The disconcerting feeling
that I might,
if unlucky,
lie in a bed for months,
while pain drains my muscles away.
Still, this end would transport me
away,
into the void of an opioid haze.
What about the fate
of crashing to the floor
with a catastrophic
cardiovascular event,
and living?
My grandfather's mind
wandered
with the songs of the birds
nesting in the fruit trees
he had planted himself
and tended.
How had it felt when he returned?
Those times when you could see
in his eyes,
he was in there
and knew
what life had brought him to.